Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart
Mama Get The Hammer (There’s A Fly On Papa’s Head)
She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
Guess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart
I May Be Used, But Baby I Ain’t Used Up
If You Can’t Bite, Don’t Growl
She’s Actin’ Single I’m Drinkin’ Doubles
I Keep Forgettin’ I Forgot About You
If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I’d Blow It All On You
Who’s Gonna Take The Garbage Out When I’m Dead And Gone?
She Walked Across My Heart Like It Was Texas
If Love Were Oil, I’d Be A Quart Low
Thanks To The Cathouse, I’m In The Doghouse With You
They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can’t Stop My Face From Breakin’ Out
If I Ain’t Got It, You Don’t Need It
You’re The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
I Wanted You To Leave Until You Left Me
Did I Shave my Legs for This?
I’m The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised
If You Don’t Leave Me, I’ll Find Someone Who Will
Hold On To Your Men Cause She’s Single Again
She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft
You’re Going To Ruin My Bad Reputation
You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat
I Got Tears In My Ears From
Lying On My Back in My Bed While Crying Over You
She Feels Like A New Man Tonight
At the Gas Station of Love, I Got the Self Service Pump
Get Your Tongue Out Of My Mouth, Because I’m Kissing You Goodbye
She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart
If Fingerprints Showed Up On Skin, Wonder Whose I’d Find On You
When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I’ll Think You’re Walking In
I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me
I Gave Her the Ring, and She Gave Me the Finger
I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life
Walk Out Backwards Slowly So I’ll Think You’re Walking In
How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You, When You Know I’ve Been A Liar All My Life?
My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart
I’ve Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You
You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Banister Of Life
I’ve Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart
Get Your Biscuits In The Oven, And Your Buns In The Bed
Your Negligee Has Turned To Flannel Nightgowns
I Don’t Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
You’re a Hard Dog To Keep Under The Porch
My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him
If Whiskey Were A Woman, I’d Be Married For Sure
Make Me Late For Work Today
How Can I Miss You if You Won’t Go Away?
I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn’t Spell Yuck!
I’ll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let’s Honeymoon Tonight
If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?
Don’t Believe My Heart Can Stand Another You
How Come Your Dog Don’t Bite Nobody But Me?
Let Me Sleep On Your Pool Table ‘Cause There’s Another Man In My Bed
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