Next, I couldn’t care less where Melania Trump is. So what if she’s gone unseen in public for three weeks since her hospital procedure? She offers us nothing but occasional plagiarism of her predecessor, no public condemnation of her husband’s horrific tweets and remarks, and the hysterical refusal to hold his hand in public. Why do we even care about any First Lady or their supposed “causes”? Did Michelle Obama having a vegetable garden behind the White House turn us into a country of healthier eaters? Not in my house. Did Betty Ford end alcoholism as an ongoing concern? Hell, Nancy Reagan appeared on “Diff’rent Strokes” to tell kids to Just Say No to drugs, yet the three young stars of that show ended up either with addiction problems or on the FBI’s Most Wanted List! Don’t even get me started on Hillary Clinton. So, I say it would “Be Best” to leave Melania alone. She’s suffered enough having to share a bed with Old Cheetos Skin.
Meanwhile, in England, they’re preparing to celebrate Queen Elizabeth II’s birthday this weekend with a 41 gun salute in Hyde Park, a 21 gun salute in Windsor Great Park and a 62 gun salute at the Tower of London. That’s a lot of gun salutes. Who’s the party planner — Dana Loesch? By the way, the Queen’s actual birthday is not this Saturday. It was on April 21st. So why is the party on June 9th? The woman is 92 years old! At that age, why torture her by delaying the birthday party by seven weeks? Was the entire country busy with something else in April? Sorry, your majesty, none of us can make it because we all finally got a dental appointment that day. Really?
By the way, if Melania Trump shows up at the Queen’s celebration and dances with Bill Clinton, I want footage of Wolf Blitzer’s head exploding.