When you call a corporate customer service or technical support number, you’ll often be told “this call is being recorded for quality assurance purposes and to ensure better service.” Yes, and so they also have a record of some of the more bizarre requests and calls they receive.

Here are a couple of those, as compiled by the British newspaper The Mirror, that I mentioned yesterday on my show:

Caller: “Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?”
Operator: “I’m sorry, sir, I don’t understand who you are talking about”.
Caller: “In the user guide it clearly states I need to unplug the fax machine from the wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Can you give me his number?”
Operator: “I think you mean the telephone point on the wall”.

And this:

Tech Support: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.”
Customer: “OK.”
Tech Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?”
Customer: “No” .
Tech Support: “OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?”
Customer: “No.”
Tech Support: “OK. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?”
Customer: “Sure. You told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’.”

You’ll find a few more here.