I recently watched two movies that will be candidates for my Worst Movies Of The Year list. They were such a waste of my time I’m not even going to give them full reviews. But I’ll tell you enough so you don’t have to even consider adding them to your queue.
In “The Instigators,” Casey Affleck (who co-wrote the script) and Matt Damon get chased all over Boston by cops and some bad guys after trying to steal the corrupt mayor’s stash of cash. The whole thing is dumber than your average Mark Wahlberg movie, with a ridiculous subplot involving Hong Chau as Damon’s psychiatrist.
The movie manages to waste such money-in-the-bank supporting actors as Michael Stuhlbarg, Alfred Molina, Paul Walter Hauser, Toby Jones, and Ron Perlman. Ving Rhames slow-walks through his role as a cop hunting the suspects in what looks like an urban tank. I have a feeling Rhames hated the finished product because his name is nowhere to be seen in the credits.
Despite being directed by Doug Liman (“The Bourne Identity”), “The Instigators” is nothing more than a two-hour time suck. The only reason to watch it is to guess which cast member will have the worst Boston accent or not be able to keep it going through the entire story.
I give “The Instigators” a 3 out of 10. Streaming on Apple TV+.
The other stinker is “Land Of Bad,” starring Liam Hemsworth as the youngest member of a four-man special ops team sent to find a CIA operative being held by a terrorist group in the southern Philippines. He’s assisted by Russell Crowe as a drone pilot working from Nellis Air Force Base in the Nevada desert. When Hemsworth’s mission goes wrong, Crowe has to guide him to an evacuation point and supply cover with missiles fired at enemy vehicles and caves.
Watching this dreck, I was reminded of another war movie from 1988 that similarly wasted two good actors. In “Bat 21,” Danny Glover was a pilot helping a high-ranking officer played by Gene Hackman get to safety from a plane crash site in the last days of the Vietnam War. To avoid detection by North Vietnamese troops, Hackman uses a special code to tell Glover where he’s headed — based on the layout of famous golf courses. Yes, you read that right.
I remain highly disappointed in Crowe, who was once a reliable presence in some quality movies (“A Beautiful Mind,” “The Insider,” “Cinderella Man”), but has let himself go and wasted his talent on nothing but garbage for the last decade or so.
Movies with such thin stories always have throwaway subplots. In “The Instigators,” Damon’s character needs money for some reason involving being able to see his son, who lives with his ex-wife. In “Land Of Bad,” Crowe’s wife is very pregnant and close to giving birth, while his superior officer is a dimwit who’d rather watch a March Madness basketball game than oversee a deadly rescue mission.
I also give “Land Of Bad” a 3 out of 10. Streaming on Netflix.