Ten more phrases no one will ever use to describe me:
- He always referred to animals as “varmints.”
- He had an extensive collection of tuxedoes and wore them often.
- He enjoyed “Parks” but was so-so on “Recreation.”
- His favorite sound was the noisy modem handshake of the dial-up AOL days.
- His favorite vacation destination was the Mall Of America.
- He loved to boogie oogie oogie till he just couldn’t oogie any more.
- He spent up to 10 hours every day doing Hot Yoga.
- He longed to have John Travolta paw his face during an awards show.
- His favorite snack was a bowl of lentils.
- He was once horribly addicted to Sorbitol artificial sweetener.
From the earlier lists:
- He loved cold weather and couldn’t wait for winter.
- He enjoyed his years as a featured dancer in “Riverdance.”
- He loved websites with video/audio that started as soon as a page loaded.
- He was known in the industry as “The Eighth Wayans Brother.”
- He loved making jars of preserves and home-brewing beer for friends.
- His handwriting got better as he got older.
- He had just two sports passions: cricket and curling.
- He longed for more of the brilliant comedy of Mr. Pauly Shore.
- He preferred the taste of lentils above all other foods.
- He was the world’s foremost expert on monster trucks.
- He referred to friends as “peeps.”
- He often spoke of the pompatus of love.
- He wished more foods included cilantro in their ingredients.
- He regularly turned heads with his impeccable fashion choices.
- He regretted not listening to more bagpipe music.
- He was this close to being inducted into the roller derby hall of fame.
- He enjoyed spending his free time on plumbing and auto repairs.
- He was jealous of Boxcar Willie being named America’s Favorite Hobo.
- He would have been a masterful interior designer.
- He lived to surf.
- He enjoyed being surrounded by large crowds of drunken people.
- He loved every second of every “Sharknado” movie.
- He was one of the world’s greatest soccer enthusiasts.
- He was an early adopter of many Microsoft hardware products, particularly The Zune.
- He never missed a moment of the Monday 8am physics lab in his freshman year of college.
- He couldn’t get enough of debates about how to achieve peace in the Middle East.
- He enjoyed working on actuarial tables in his free time.
- He once got stuck on a roller coaster that stopped in the middle of a ride.
- He yearned to spend more time in the deep south.
- He once considered a career as a clergyman.