In the NY Observer, Bruce Fierstein imagines a memo from “Entourage” agent Ari Gold to Al Gore, regarding his upcoming appearance on the Oscars, where “An Inconvenient Truth” is a favorite to win Best Documentary:
The thing of it is, Al, the morning after you get the statue, every studio in this town is going to be asking: What do you want to do next? A sequel? A remake? Another Inconvenient Truth? But this time, they’re going to expect you to do it bigger, and better, with lots of special effects: Change the carbon emissions to meteorites; switch out the oil lobby for aliens; tweak the McGuffin, from man-made environmental catastrophe to the Big Bang theory and the impending collapse of the universe. Bruce Willis and Michael Bay, here we come.
But somehow, Al, I know it’s not you. It’s not where your career should be heading….
So, for all of our sakes, give it a think. Make the speech short and self-deprecating (no reason to bring in Naomi Wolf; go with the classic black tux) and say something to the effect of: “I think I’m supposed to say it’s nice to be nominated. But having been ‘nominated’ once before, I’ve got to tell you: I t’s a lot better to win …. Which is why, tonight, I’m announcing my candidacy for President. Together, with your help, we can return to the kind of people we once were, and go forward to become the kind of great nation were always destined to be.”
And that’s it. Over, done and out. And by the time you show up Graydon’s, there won’t be a full checkbook in the house.
Get back to me as soon as you can on this, Al. Obama is waiting in the wings.
See the whole piece here.