Variety says a small studio plans to make a Billy Joel biopic. There’s one small problem. Billy won’t have anything to do with it, and won’t grant the rights to use his name, likeness, or music.

I imagine the movie’s script goes something like this…


We open on an unnamed male singer/songwriter, shot from behind or in silhouette so we can’t see his face.

Singer/Songwriter: Hey, I’ve got a bunch of great new songs, and I can’t wait to play them for you.

Music Executive: I’d love to hear them. Have a seat at the piano, man!