I’ve never seen anything like “Bones and All.” I’m also not sure I ever wanted to see anything like it. Or ever wanna see anything like it again.
I can’t tell you anything about the movie without giving away a plot point the film’s marketers have tried desperately to bury. Here’s the stock line they’ve used for its listing on IMDb: “Maren, a young woman, learns how to survive on the margins of society.” Other promotional material refers to her “otherness.” Okay, but that’s not the most important aspect of Maren’s life.
She’s a cannibal! So are other characters central to the plot. They’re all cannibals. Yep, they eat human flesh. And you get to watch them do it.
If that’s not enough of a warning to stay away from this garbage, I’ll tell you more about the simple story of “Bones and All.”
High school student Maren (Taylor Russell) sneaks out one night and goes to a sleepover party, where she eats another girl’s finger. That’s the tipping point for her father, who’s been moving with Maren from town to town because of her predilection for human meat, which first became apparent when she snacked on a babysitter.
So, Dad splits, and Maren has to go on the run. Along the way, she meets Sully, an older man who’s also a cannibal, although he prefers to be called an “eater.” He’s played by Mark Rylance, who uses a creepy voice just in case you don’t realize he’s creepy. The two of them munch down on a freshly-dead old lady in her home, and then Maren takes off again.
Next, she meets Lee (Timothée Chalamet), a twenty-something cannibal who falls for her and vice-versa. The two cannibals in love go on a road trip to find Maren’s mother and… well, I’m gonna stop because this is where I gave up caring about any of this. I was also kinda mad that so many talented people (Michael Stuhlbarg, Andre Holland, Jessica Harper) had wasted their time in a movie not worthy of their talent.
I’m not sure who makes up the audience for a movie like this, aside from those who’d watch Chalemet in anything. But they’d better not get the large popcorn, because with multiple scenes of characters eating human flesh (sometimes still alive), “Bones And All” is the winner of the Movie Most Likely To Make You Vomit award. And just in time for Thanksgiving, too!
I’m giving it a 2 out of 10, which means it has earned a place on my year-end Worst Movies Of 2022 list.
Opens tomorrow in theaters.