Quick thoughts on baseball’s Mitchell Report…

Has Roger Clemens announced his re-retirement yet?

In most cities, fans were just happy to hear that none of their active superstar players were named in the report. That’s how St. Louisans felt when Albert Pujols wasn’t listed, contrary to the rumors going around this morning. The only active Cardinals mentioned by Mitchell are Ryan Franklin and Rick Ankiel, with nothing new about them that hadn’t been reported already.

Not being included doesn’t mean a player is or was clean — it only means that Mitchell didn’t get any evidence about them. Surely, there are steroid-using baseball players who never met the two trainers who serve as first-person sources in the report.

In fact, the report contains a remarkable amount of previously-known material. This is what you get for $50,000,000 and 20 months of investigation? Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams got more info with a lot less money, time, and authority.

The bottom line for baseball is whether the fans will still show up in record numbers. Over the last decade, they’ve loved seeing the ball go over the wall, even after all the steroid allegations and “widespread use.” I don’t think most people will care in the long run — to the contrary, many fans are suffering from steroid story fatigue.

James e-mails to suggest that we could put this issue to rest by adding a clause to the disclaimer on tickets: “Notice: Some of the athletes you will see today may be chemically enchanced.”

Does someone owe Jose Canseco a thank-you?

I’m tired of hearing people playing the Kid Card, claiming that the use of steroids by big leaguers is why young athletes are using them, and we have to protect them. It is long past time for parents to teach their sons and daughters that, with very few exceptions, professional athletes are not role models to emulate, anymore than professional singers, movie stars, or radio personalities.

Cheryl e-mails to ask, “If you knew steroids were illegal, how stupid do you have to be to write a check for them?” I guess none of these guys know the Jerry Springer story.