Just saw a promo for Regis & Kelly’s show later today, when their guests include a couple dozen sumo wrestlers who are in New York for a competition. I’m guessing that many of these guys were in Vegas at the same time I was earlier this month, when they competed in the Sumo World Championships (a friend invited me to go, but if I wanted to see fat guys in their underwear, I’d just look in the mirror in the morning).

That event drew a huge crowd at Mandalay Bay — even larger than the other event in town that weekend, Hustler magazine’s lingerie party at the Hard Rock Casino. Those two might not seem to go together, but the fact is, many of the top sumo wrestlers have wives/girlfriends who look like lingerie models. As my friend Dave used to say, while these women may be drawn to the fame and fortune that can come with champion sumo wrestlers, there are two words that scare the hell out of them: “missionary position.”