Last month, when we went to get on our flight from St. Louis to Frankfurt, we had our boarding passes and passports scanned twice by airline gate personnel, and then had to stop again before entering the jetway so a Customs and Border Protection officer could take our picture. I don’t think it was for the agency’s Instagram account, but rather another layer of unnecessary security theater. After all, our passports had been checked just moments earlier with another CBP officer watching.
When we returned, we had to endure something similar — despite having Global Entry cards. None of this was in place when we traveled internationally two years ago, but must be a reflection of policies now in place under The Orange Menace.
By the way, we deleted all our social media apps and turned our phones completely off upon deplaning in order to make it difficult for CBP to examine our data and determine that our free speech was a threat to The Liar In Chief’s dictator-like fiats. No such request was made of us, but we wanted to be prepared to do what’s within our rights as US citizens. I doubt very much they caught any Venezuelans in this dragnet.
Here’s another thing I don’t understand about the current state of airport security theater. As I was passing through TSA screening, I did what I was supposed to do with my luggage, toiletries bags, shoes, and belt before stepping into the Machine That Can See Through Your Clothes. Unfortunately, I had forgotten to take a pack of tissues out of my back pocket, so I was flagged, pulled aside, and then given both the wand swipe and a pat down.
When asked what I had in there, I pulled out the packet and showed it, which brought a scowl from the TSA officer, who then let me go. Now here’s what I said inside my head, not out loud: “You have a multi-million dollar machine here with the technology to see through multiple layers of whatever I’m wearing, but the image gets blocked by a half-dozen Kleenex?” You’d think they were made of two-ply lead.
As if that wasn’t ridiculous enough, when we were served a meal on the flight, it came with real silverware. Yep, a knife and fork, which would probably have caused me to be strip-searched in the screening lane, but once onboard no longer qualified as possible weapons for some insane reason. Good thing I didn’t threaten a flight attendant with a handkerchief!
Now watch, next time I fly this piece will be used against me.