My wife and I celebrated our 28th anniversary yesterday, so a couple of days ago, I went to the store to buy her a card. While there, I noticed that they’re already selling Halloween cards. My first thought was, “In August? Isn’t it a little early to think about Halloween? I think my daughter may still have some candy left over from last year!”

My second thought was, “Wait, who buys a greeting card for Halloween?” Who are you supposed to send them to? Kids don’t care about getting a card for Halloween — all they want is to dress up and get some candy. Teenagers don’t want a card — they just view Halloween as another excuse to have a party with their friends. And adults don’t want a card and probably aren’t celebrating that holiday anyway — they’re too busy buying candy for the kids, making sure the teenagers don’t have alcohol at their party, and wondering whether the new young secretary at the office will come to work in a sexy nurse costume again.