Although apes in the future will be able to speak English perfectly, they really aren’t themselves unless they’re grunting and squealing like a bunch of people in primate costumes.
In every large group of apes, the lead female will be the only one with an English accent.
Some female apes enjoy wearing lipstick, mascara, and eye liner.
Some male apes enjoy wearing Russell Crowe’s battlefield costumes from “Gladiator.”
In every group of dirty, stinking humans on the run, there will be one clean yet pouty supermodel with a low-cut loin cloth.
Marky Mark is unable to grow whiskers, which explains why, even though more than two days pass in the course of the plot, he can’t even work up a mild five o’clock shadow.
Some apes have seen “Mission Impossible 2″ and like to mimic (ape, if you will) the leaping-off-motorcycles jump-bump-in-the-air stunt in the middle of a fight.
The sexiest female apes dress in designer fashions, presumably created by Donna Orang-Karan.
Tim Burton is incapable of filming a brightly lit scene.
Estella Warren in a speaking part is no match for Linda Harrison as a mute.
Them monkeys can fly!
If I could travel in time like Marky Mark, I’d go back two hours and get my $7.50 back.
