That’s a full-page ad Comedy Central took out in today’s NY Times and LA Times promoting Trevor Noah’s “Daily Show.” In case you can’t squint enough to read the copy, it says:

Did you do an insurrection? Then you need our protection!

We guarantee to win your case! Or lose and insist we actually won no matter what.


We Fight These Charges:

  • First-degree normal tourist activity
  • Lectern theft
  • Attempted Vice Presidenticide
  • Stuff you admitted to in a Facebook post for some reason
  • Stuff no one would even have found out about if not for your snitch ex

Then there’s a phone number, 85-OOPS-JAN6, which you can call (as I did) to hear a pretty funny message.

Oh, and at the bottom of the ad is this: Because your only crime was listening to the president. Also, felony assault.