Rock Star. I don’t know if this is still a go-to word in corporate environments, as I haven’t held an office job since 2019. But boy did I hate it when I was on a conference call and someone said something like, “and Melissa, who is just a total rock star at SEO.” Is she? Is Melissa a total rock star at SEO? Are you listening to yourself? Are there other ways we can uplift Melissa in her profession? I don’t like it. I don’t like being forced to imagine poor Melissa in KISS makeup doing SEO in a sold-out arena. I’ve never personally been called a rock star in a conference call, but if I had I would have gone straight to HR.
Of the others Brammer included, this was my favorite:
Guess! Nothing makes me want to drop your story like a hot potato and move on with my life quite like hearing “guess!” You know, the one that comes up after “and you’ll never believe who showed up” or something. I am not going to guess who showed up, or what someone said, or what song was playing, or which ex called you in the middle of the night. You are telling me a story that has suddenly become a pop quiz. Do you want to take a break from narrating and play Clue? We are, both of us, multicellular organisms decaying in front of each other, and you want to spend precious seconds on this. Also, no, I will not guess your age or ethnicity. Grow up.