ESPN already stretched the definition of sports to televise cornhole matches, but an air guitar contest? I guess they figure they had to put *something* on against an NFL playoff game, and couldn’t get the rights to the US Bong Cleaning Finals.
We’re only three days into 2022, but here’s an early entry for Feel-Good Story Of The Year.
I saw one of the most beautiful sunsets ever yesterday, with clouds giving off a pink glow. It reminded me of that old saying, “Red sky at night, sailors delight. Red sky in the morning, sailors take warning. Red sky at noon, the Calloway nuclear plant has exploded.”
I am so proud today with the announcement that, between us, Bruce Springsteen and I have created a collection of songs that are worth half a billion dollars!
Somehow, I hyperextended my left elbow Saturday night — in my sleep! Fortunately, because I’m in superhuman shape, I was able to get through 10 hours of NFL football on Sunday by using my right hand to control the TV remote.
Being named runner-up for the title of People magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive year after year is beginning to take a toll on me. This might be the last time I try to bribe the judges with Olive Garden gift cards.