Thought #1: I read a story this week of an 83-year-old woman who was gored by a bison at Yellowstone. Here’s what the story didn’t include: it’s her fault. I say this having been to Yellowstone and seen not only hundreds of bison, but also dozens of signs warning human beings to stay a good distance away from the big furry beasts (bison, moose, elk, etc.) which have roamed that land since prehistoric times. You don’t last that long as a species if you don’t have an innate instinct to attack any idiot who wants to get a selfie with you despite being outweighed by a factor of ten. There are news items like this every year and, to my mind, the goring victims are just like the nitwits who purposefully step off the wooden walkways to test whether the bubbling thermal springs are really hot. They figure out the answer just a micro-moment after scalding their skin.

Thought #2: One day soon, a MAGA Moron will burn the American flag to protest Biden’s presidency or because they believe yet another of Trump’s lies. Within five minutes, every extremist Republican and their media mouthpieces will defend the action as freedom of speech. Which it is. But they espoused the exact opposite opinion when liberals did it (and even then, the number of such incidents was incredibly small).

Thought #3: Results of my newest survey are in: 100% of polls predicting the outcome of this year’s presidential election are bullshit, just like the sports pundits on ESPN who are sure they can prognosticate the winner of next year’s Super Bowl. Remember last year when they all thought the Jets would have a great season because they’d acquired Aaron Rodgers?

Thought #4: Today’s “Wheel Of Fortune” episode will be the last hosted by Pat Sajak, who’s retiring after 41 years. He’ll be replaced by Ryan Seacrest — as we all will eventually, if AI doesn’t get us first — but Sajak will stay on for another year as a consultant to the show. What could he, or any consultant, possibly recommend for a game show that’s been on auto-pilot for a quarter-century? “How about if this year, contestants spin the wheel counter-clockwise? Okay, that’s all I have for this month. Send my check to the usual address!”