Supreme whiner Clarence Thomas was complaining this week about how he doesn’t like Washington, DC, especially when people ridicule and criticize him. At least they’re not taking away your reproductive rights, Clarence! By the way, if you feel the atmosphere’s too tense, you can always quit and go help your wife spread false stories about election fraud.

In a poker room the other night, a guy walked through with a t-shirt captioned “Free Trump!” He might as well have bought one that says, “I’m An Asshole!” Not so incidentally, Trump is not in jail. He goes home every night to sleep in his gilded bedroom and is free to spend his evenings — and days he’s not in court — spewing even more lies at his campaign rallies and telling oil executives gathered at Mar-A-Lago he’ll change more environmental laws in their favor if they give him a billion dollars. And why wasn’t that story — a blatant bribery request — given more attention by news media this week?

A headline earlier this week read, “Crowd walks out on Jerry Seinfeld’s commencement address,” referring to some students at Duke opposed to Seinfeld’s support of Israel. OK, that’s fine, they’re allowed to do that, and I’m not going to get into a debate over Israel and Gaza. But I will get into the math, just to offer some perspective. It turns out the number of people who left was between thirty and forty. Do you know how many people attended the event? About seven thousand. So, the headline should have been: “Over 99% of the crowd sat and listened while Jerry Seinfeld gave his commencement address.” But that wouldn’t work as click bait, would it?

Harrison Butker, kicker for the Kansas City Chiefs, also gave a commencement speech this week at a Catholic college in Kansas. In it, he espoused extreme evangelical talking points against women working outside the home, why pride month promotes a deadly sin, and, of course, against abortion. Now that is a speech I would have walked out on. That’s why during the upcoming NFL season, I hope to see coach Andy Reid let Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs offense go for it on every fourth down instead of letting Butker attempt field goals. Maybe he could spend the extra time on the sideline lecturing Travis Kelce about having sex with Taylor Swift out of wedlock.