The guy who bet all his money ($85,000) on Tiger Woods winning the Masters — and claims it was his first bet ever — reminds me of my second-favorite Las Vegas joke, even though the outcome was different:
A man in Australia is driving to work when he hears The Voice say, “Quit your job. Cash out all your money. Go to Las Vegas.” He looks around, but there’s no one else in the car. He ignores The Voice, wondering if he might be going crazy.
On the way home that evening, he hears The Voice again. “Quit your job. Cash out all your money. Go to Las Vegas.”
Thinking he’s getting some sort of divine instructions, the guy quits his job, cashes out all his money, and gets on a plane to Las Vegas.
When he gets there, The Voice says, “Get in a cab. Go to Bellagio.”
The guy follows the instructions.
When he gets out of the cab at the casino, The Voice says, “Go to the roulette table.”
The man finds a roulette table. The Voice says, “Bet everything on 17.”
The guy hesitates. The Voice repeats, “Bet everything on 17!”
The guy, now convinced he’s about to become rich, bets everything on 17. The croupier spins the wheel, drops the ball, and it lands on 5.
The Voice says, “FUCK!”
Note: I don’t know who wrote this joke, but if I did, I’d certainly give them credit.
If you’re curious, here’s my all-time favorite Vegas joke.