While enduring yesterday’s cold, I remembered this joke. If I knew who created it I’d give them credit (perhaps Jonathan Katz?), but I don’t. Enjoy…
A baby polar bear comes home from school and asks his mother if he’s really a polar bear. Mom says, “Of course you are, honey! Now go do your homework before we have dinner.”
The next day, the baby polar bear comes home from school and asks his grandfather if he’s really a polar bear. Grandpa says, “Of course you are, kiddo! Now go do your homework before we have dinner.”
The third day, the baby polar bear comes home from school and asks his grandmother if he’s really a polar bear. Grandma says, “Of course you are, sweetie! Now go do your homework before we have dinner.”
On the fourth day, the baby polar bear comes home from school and asks his father if he’s really a polar bear. Dad raises his voice as he responds, “Wait a minute. I heard you ask Mom that question and she told you yes, you’re a polar bear. Then you asked Grandma and Grandpa the same thing and they also said you’re a polar bear. Now you’re coming to me, so I have to know: why do you keep asking everyone if you’re a real polar bear?”
The baby polar bear replies: “Because I’m fucking freezing!”
Note: this joke does not work without the wonderfully alliterative phrase “fucking freezing.” Substituting any other verbiage ruins the perfect punchline.