The product sold at Great American Bagel is neither a bagel nor great. Like St. Louis Bread Company (Panera) and Einstein Brothers outlets, all they’re selling you is a mediocre piece of round bread. It hasn’t been boiled before baking, which is the key to making real bagels. Plus, the so-called cream cheese Great American Bagel spreads on that circular mistake tastes as if it came out of a caulking gun. If you settle for that, you’d probably also think Sbarro sells a good piece of pizza rather than its indigestion-causing triangles that don’t deserve the name.

I’ve used Venmo for several years to transfer money (without fees) to and from various people. But there’s one feature on the app I can’t believe other users haven’t turned off. It’s the screen that shows each and every transfer you and your friends have made via Venmo. I have some casual acquaintances whose rent payments and other transactions (e.g. to bookies, girlfriends, etc.) are right there out in the open. Yes, we live in an age where you can share everything about your life via social media, but this seems to me to be a slightly more private matter than the photo of a plate of fettuccine alfredo you posted during dinner last night. If you use Venmo, do yourself a favor and turn that option off (it’s on by default).

I was in a public men’s room the other day and had to use the stall. Before I sat down, I noticed something scratched into the seat: the name Luke. My analytical mind went to work with questions. First, why? Are you that much of an attention junkie, Luke, that you want your name under other men’s butts while they do their bathroom business? Second, what made you think of doing it in the first place? I don’t understand idiots who write on the stall walls like eighth graders, but carving your name into the seat seems an unnecessary upgrade of effort. Third, did Luke go out and proudly tell his buddies to be sure to use that stall next time they’re in that men’s room so they can all enjoy an impression of his name on their asses? Fourth, it could have been worse — at least it wasn’t in cursive. Fifth, I’m gonna move over one stall and leave Luke’s legacy alone.