As I Tweeted

As I Tweeted

Kudos to the rocket scientists at NASA, who successfully flew a robotic probe at 14,000 mph into a 560-foot wide asteroid that’s roughly 6.8 million miles from Earth. Meanwhile, I can’t figure out which corner to stand on to meet my Lyft driver.

As I Tweeted

As I Tweeted

It’s the first full day of fall, and you know what that means: Target is putting out Valentine’s cards!

As I Tweeted

As I Tweeted

Watching “Hard Knocks” on HBO Max, it’s weird to see the head coach hugging players he has just cut. I was fired several times in my career, and no GM or PD ever hugged me – and I didn’t want them to, either!

As I Tweeted

As I Tweeted

In memory of Bernard Shaw, debate moderators must ask anti-choice candidates an update of his Kitty Dukakis question: “If your teenage daughter were raped and became pregnant, would you want her to have access to a safe abortion in your state?”

As I Tweeted

As I Tweeted

Any TV exec watching Nikki Glaser filling in for Jimmy Kimmel has to realize she belongs at the top of a list of candidates for the next late night slot that opens up. She has all the skills.

As I Tweeted

As I Tweeted

Not only did Trump illegally have top secret documents at Mar-A-Lago, he also charged the FBI agents — who stayed there all day collecting boxes of stolen paperwork — a $45 resort fee. It was added to the bill for their convenience.