Every journalist who bought into the “Trump will be change his tone, be kinder, and strive for unity from now on” storyline after the assassination attempt should be forced to watch his hate-filled spewing of lies and insults at the NABJ event yesterday. For more, look up “Spots, leopards never change their” in any political glossary. Then cross it out and write in “Racism, racists never change their”
Speaking of Trump, it will be a shame to lose James Austin Johnson’s perfect impression of him on “SNL.” On the other hand, I’m looking forward to seeing Maya Rudolph return to “SNL” to play Kamala Harris in every cold open until the election — and hopefully, afterwards, too.
Norah O’Donnell says she’s “stepping down” as anchor and managing editor of the CBS Evening News. That’s corporate media speak for “she was fired because her nightly newscast couldn’t budge out of third place.” Also, the new owners are trying to stem the red ink that’s been bleeding out of the network, so heads are rolling and she’s one of the highest paid people in the building. I say all this having had a similar experience with CBS — twice — but without the pleasure of announcing my “stepping down” ahead of time. Unless by “stepping down” you mean “told to get out of the building immediately.”
The organizers of the Paris Olympics were sure they could hold the swimming portion of the triathlon in the Seine River, which is famously polluted with levels of e.coli that would keep even Johnny Knoxville and Steve-O from jumping in. But yesterday, they tested it and — surprise! — it was deemed not to be a health threat, so the competition was on. We won’t know if the water was really okay for a week or so — or until any of the participants have something burst out of their stomachs like John Hurt did in “Alien.” It could have been worse — instead of swimming, they could have gone all “Fear Factor” on the participants by making them eat a healthy serving of tripe, which is defined on gymglish.com as including “all four chambers of a cow’s stomach, as well as hooves and bones, cooked for hours and flavored with herbs and white wine.” As Tony Kornheiser said this week on ESPN, “Don’t they have any lakes in France?”
Quick. Name any of the winners of “The Voice” and “American Idol” from the last five years — without asking an AI bot.