It doesn’t matter how often a restaurant server tells me that the plate they’re putting in front of me is hot. I’m still going to touch it 100% of the time. It’s even sillier at restaurants where the food comes out of the kitchen, and before it’s placed in front of me, has to make a pit stop at a cart with two burners on top. I always wonder why the food needs that extra blast of high heat. Was it not fully cooked in the kitchen and needed another two minutes on an open flame? Or is it to sear the image of a hot plate into my brain? Doesn’t matter, never works. Even though I can see the plate sitting atop the flame, so my brain knows its surface temperature will be too high for contact with my flesh, I’m still going to manually nudge it when it gets to me.
I went to see comedian George Wallace this weekend and was happy to see he’s still at the top of his game, with a jokes-per-minute count as high as anyone in the business. George was always a money-in-the-bank guest, as he proved on during an on-air visit with me in 2016, when we touched on his early days at Catch A Rising Star and the Comedy Store, opening for music acts like Tom Jones and Diana Ross, and why he left Las Vegas after 10 years as a headliner. You can listen to that conversation here.
Speaking of comedians, I wish someone would tell Jon Stewart he doesn’t have to shout his way through the Monday night “Daily Show” episodes. Yes, being loud worked for Sam Kinison and Bobcat Goldthwait in the 1980s, but the former is long dead and the latter stopped doing it a quarter-century ago. Anytime I see a comic keeping their voice raised for an extended period, it reeks of desperation. Stewart already has the job and the reputation, so there’s no need to try to impress us with volume. Interestingly, his colleagues Jordan Klepper and Desi Lydic — the two best correspondents/hosts on the “Daily Show” staff — never shout. Even Lewis Black doesn’t do it anymore, likely because he’s learned that moderating his tone can make the jokes funnier. If only he’d remind Stewart of that fact.
And finally, a simple observation: You know you’re a modest person when you close the bathroom door even though you’re home alone.