Jim Gaffigan posted this on Twitter a few minutes ago: “I’m tired of cable news. It’s like watching 4 year olds play soccer.”

He’s absolutely right. When my daughter played at that age, we’d go to her games and watch all the girls run as a pack wherever the ball went. No one held their positions, or tried to get open for a pass, or played anywhere else on the field. They just went after the ball.

That’s how the cable news outlets run all day long. Look over there, a boy might be in that balloon! Wait, over here, Muslims want to build a mosque! Quick, bring the cameras, a crazy guy wants to burn a book!

And on and on and on.

Do any of them ever notice that no one’s scoring any goals? It didn’t matter for the kids, because they were outside having fun and getting exercise. But shouldn’t a news outlet have higher ambitions?

No time to think about that. They found video of a Senate candidate who said she dabbled in witchcraft over a decade ago, and the scrum is on the move again.